Mrshappiness’s Blog

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From the mouths of babes December 29, 2008

Filed under: Parenting — mrshappiness @ 11:42 pm

Today marks one week since my daughter has returned. The transition has been difficult for each one of us. It is strange bringing someone back into your life that has been so much of an outsider for such a long period of time. Although she calls me mother and she is my daughter, we are more like strangers than we would care to admit.

Sarah is quiet, uninviting, and incapable of interacting in just basic casual conversation.

As I think of her struggle to absorb all that has changed, learn each family members quirks and differences and find her way to become part of this tribe, I find myself comparing it to that of a newborn child.

As infants we do not speak. We rely soley on our parents to feed us, bathe us and provide us with all of our basic human needs. They do all of this as we sit back and do nothing but absorb. We take in all that life has to offer, we learn the voices, likes and dislikes of those around us. We learn what foods we love and those that we hate and do all of this without uttering a single solitary audible word. We make noise, cry, groan and complain, but we are not expected to offer up meaningful conversation. Quite the opposite is true for when our first single, one syllable word is spoken, the crowds applaud, the sky opens up and God himself seems to come down to sing our praise.

My daughter is much like an infant but in a 16 year old body. She does not have the benefit of being adorable just for rolling over, belting out a Dada or eating her first bite of “real” food. The world she faces is much less forgiving, a lot more demanding and waiting to see what she has to offer.

I will do my best to remind myself of this as she stands by watching me pay bills, stands over me mopping the floors and stares me down at dinner. She is a baby in an overgrown body and I her teacher dressed up as a mom.

 

Change is Good December 7, 2008

Filed under: Life — mrshappiness @ 7:01 am
Tags: , , ,

It is said that our life has many seasons, and with each season there is change. Change is good, once the dust settles, and the pieces fit into place, but until that happens, it is a place where panic lies and uncertainty takes over.

 Lately, I have felt like I have endured a couple of seasons, all in the same space of time. My life seems to be spinning and twirling and there is no button to push to force it to stop. I would not say it is out of control, for I do not feel completely lost, just dizzy and uncertain not quite sure when or where I am going to land.

I have shared in my previous posts, that my daughter will soon be coming home. This is a joyous occasion, but it is filled with a lot of fear and uncertainty. There are so many details to be worked out that do not feel attainable and time is chasing me and beginning to slip by.

There are schools to set up, therapist to schedule, doctors to find and psychiatrist to see. There are forms to be filed and papers to fill out, each one requiring information I do not have or a time frame that does not fit.

It never occurred to me all of the red tape it would take to get her out of one school and into another. Whatever happened to showing up, attending class and getting educated? It certainly has to be simpler than this. 

 Although she will be 17, due to her capabilities, she must not be left alone. so to add to my pre “big day” list,I must search, locate and hire a nanny. Not just any nanny, but a nanny that is interested in caring for my 17 year old daughter and her brother and sister. I must admit that this is bothersome to me.  Now that my kids are almost old enough to care for themselves, I am hiring a nanny.  

On top of preparing for my daughters return, I have returned to work. What timing!  I really could have planned my medical leave better, but those are things we do not plan. It’s called life!  It is usually unpredicatble, almost always unimaginable and quite certainly unexpected. It can knock you off your feet and blow you out of the water;  but when the day is through we find the strength to pull ourselves up, brush off the dirt and plan for yet another day in this  place  called  life. So, I am doing just that. Each day I take a breath, pull myself up and prepare for the unimaginable. Soon this season will end and a new one will begin. Again I will hold on tight, buckle up and prepare for another adventure in my life.