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Change is Good December 7, 2008

Filed under: Life — mrshappiness @ 7:01 am
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It is said that our life has many seasons, and with each season there is change. Change is good, once the dust settles, and the pieces fit into place, but until that happens, it is a place where panic lies and uncertainty takes over.

 Lately, I have felt like I have endured a couple of seasons, all in the same space of time. My life seems to be spinning and twirling and there is no button to push to force it to stop. I would not say it is out of control, for I do not feel completely lost, just dizzy and uncertain not quite sure when or where I am going to land.

I have shared in my previous posts, that my daughter will soon be coming home. This is a joyous occasion, but it is filled with a lot of fear and uncertainty. There are so many details to be worked out that do not feel attainable and time is chasing me and beginning to slip by.

There are schools to set up, therapist to schedule, doctors to find and psychiatrist to see. There are forms to be filed and papers to fill out, each one requiring information I do not have or a time frame that does not fit.

It never occurred to me all of the red tape it would take to get her out of one school and into another. Whatever happened to showing up, attending class and getting educated? It certainly has to be simpler than this. 

 Although she will be 17, due to her capabilities, she must not be left alone. so to add to my pre “big day” list,I must search, locate and hire a nanny. Not just any nanny, but a nanny that is interested in caring for my 17 year old daughter and her brother and sister. I must admit that this is bothersome to me.  Now that my kids are almost old enough to care for themselves, I am hiring a nanny.  

On top of preparing for my daughters return, I have returned to work. What timing!  I really could have planned my medical leave better, but those are things we do not plan. It’s called life!  It is usually unpredicatble, almost always unimaginable and quite certainly unexpected. It can knock you off your feet and blow you out of the water;  but when the day is through we find the strength to pull ourselves up, brush off the dirt and plan for yet another day in this  place  called  life. So, I am doing just that. Each day I take a breath, pull myself up and prepare for the unimaginable. Soon this season will end and a new one will begin. Again I will hold on tight, buckle up and prepare for another adventure in my life.

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A Dragon’s tale November 13, 2008

Filed under: Parenting — mrshappiness @ 6:24 pm
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Mornings are always a mix of emotions for me. It is my favorite time of day. As the sun rises I listen to the birds sing and squawk outside my window. When the wind moves just a bit, the leaves in the trees dance and the sound reminds me of the ocean coming up to the shore.  In the Fall, the air is crisp but the sun is warm making it the perfect temperature for a cozy robe, a good book and a big cup of Jo. And then, before my mind is ready to accept it, before my body is prepared for the task that is at hand, in an unfair moment of consciousness and reality, I hear it. The warning siren, as I refer to it. That small little box, with time and a buzzer. The box that never really stops until I hit that magical button. Yes, it is the waking  bell, the warning to all around, the signal for those most intelligent to move out and for me to move in. The “waking” of my seven year old, red headed, fiery dragon, Alissa, my daughter.

What is it about red heads anyway? What is that passion that lights their hair red and leaves the rest of us smoldering from the heat of their tempers?

I would not normally feel so informed to call out on red-heads, but I have done research. Personal research that is, for I have two. Yes that’s right two reds and one brown. My daughters both were born with red hair and my son with brown. Both girls are shall we say, a bit feisty in the morning and my son, well, he whistles, sings, chatters a good morning and a few “I love you mom” every now and again. He makes his own breakfast, gets dressed, and even helps with the dishes. Quite frankly, he has more pizazz in the morning than any one person could ever hope for. A little more than “this” one person is really ready for, but hey, no complaints from me. I’d rather whistle a little Dixie than slay a dragon any morning.

This morning was no different than any other, well, almost. Over the past three weeks all of our mornings have been “different”. For the first time in 8 years, I am currently not working. Due to a medical leave that is soon to be over, I have been at home recuperating from a surgery. So, much to my children’s delight, I have not been rushed in the mornings and have been home to greet them in the afternoons. I have been able to enjoy the special parts of motherhood that so often get overlooked when trying to juggle work, family and all of the extra activities that enter our lives. If you are a parent, grandparent, aunt, uncle, or friend you know what I mean. Our lives get busier and busier yet we have no idea what it is we are really doing. Which brings me to the point of my story. It is obvious that no one knows “what” I am doing.

As I woke the dragon she growled and snarled, hissed and spit and then she spoke. This small little body with the adorable trussled hair and sleepy eyes looked at her mother and with out a bit of hesitation said these few words. “It is not fare!” Not fare because You (me) get to stay home all day and do nothing but sleep and watch t.v. and play.” Yes the secret was out! I no longer could hide behind my facade of recovery. My playing days were over. It was time to send my magical fairy home, you know the one that made all of the dinners, mopped the floors, did the laundry, patched up torn dolls, cleaned the dishes, cleaned out closets and cupboards and straightened drawers. The one that woke at dawn to prepare for the waking of the dragon herself, made breakfast, arranged homework, picked out clothes and drove her to school. The same fairy  that took my pain pills in order to get all of these tasks accomplished, days after surgery and with little complaint, to the small child.  Yes it was time for the Fairy to leave because clearly I was having too much fun and life for some of us did not look fair.

It is such a tough lesson, the one we teach our kids. That lesson of fair and unfair and appreciation for one another. Yes life can be unfair. But more often than not, it is more fair than we think. That old cliche about the grass being greener….. There was never a saying more true.

So to all of you mothers, grandmothers, aunts, sisters and friends, to the caregiviers of the world, the single dads, or you dads that stay home to care for your own little dragons,

Give your fairy and pat on the back, and feel the appreciation!